Heart Full of Stories by Gowri

During my childhood, we lived in Pegoh Estate. When I entered Standard 6, our family was given a new house because both my parents were rubber tappers. The estate only provided new houses for couples who worked there. Near our new house stood a huge tree, which everyone called the Mohini tree. I don’t know its real name, but it had big red flowers and a massive trunk. The elders said the tree had been there for more than 50 years. One thing that always scared us was the giant iron nail driven deep into the tree. Amma always reminded us, "Never touch or remove that nail." It gave us chills! The tree only bloomed once every few months, but when it did, the bright red flowers would fall and cover the ground around the tree and even around our house. Honestly, it looked very beautiful—like nature’s own red carpet. But not long after moving into the new house, strange things started happening... 🩸 The First Incident Just a week in, I had to go to the washroom. The door was made f...

I saw one cleaner aunty sweeping the floor and mopping. With a weak voice, I called out to her. “Aunty… I’m going to deliver my baby. The pain is unbearable. Can you please pray for me? Please pray for a smooth delivery…” She came near me and softly said, “Sure, sure… You don’t worry. I will pray for you.” 5.30 p.m. I felt like the baby was about to come out. I could feel her head near my pelvis. I screamed like crazy, “I need help! Help! Help! Nurse! Doctor! Help me!” (When I think back now, I feel like laughing loudly at how I shouted.) Nurses and doctors rushed in. They asked me to push. I tried a few times, but the baby didn’t come out. Then the doctor said, in a firmer voice, “I said 6 p.m. Just wait. After this, no more shouting. Okay?” I felt like crying again. Mmm… 5.50 p.m. Again, I felt the baby’s head near my pelvis. This time, I didn’t shout. I tried to push on my own—but I didn’t know the right way. I just pushed and pushed… A nurse from outside saw me and immediately shou...

  37 Weeks 3 Days Pregnant 10.00am That was when my contraction pain started. It came slowly at first, but after a few minutes, I couldn't bear it. "Ammadiiii!" I turned left and right, trying to find the most comfortable position. The pain came and went. 12.00pm The pain became unbearable. I asked the nurse for a painkiller injection. She said, “No, painkillers can only be given every 6 hours.” Pity me… I just lay there, helpless. 2.00pm I really couldn’t take the pain anymore. I begged the nurse for a C-section. She said she would check with the doctor. I could hear the nurse speaking to the doctor outside.  "Ini hospital bapa dia ke? Dari awal kita minta dia untuk operate, dia tak nak. Sekarang baru nak operate. Operation theatre penuh." The doctor scolded me. Mmmm… The nurse came back into the room and said in a softer voice, “Gowri, ramai yang tengah tunggu turn untuk operate. Tapi kalau Gowri nak, saya boleh bagi painkiller.” I immediately replied, “Yes, p...

  09.02.2024 – 37 Weeks 3 Days As usual, all of us sat in rows for the routine check-up. I didn’t know why, but I had mixed feelings that day. Suddenly, the nurse asked me to lie down on a different bed. When the doctor checked, I was already 4 cm dilated. Then, out of nowhere, she picked up something—later I knew it was an amniohook—and tried to insert it. I was shocked. With a nervous voice, I asked, “Doktor, nak buat apa?” “Saya nak pecahkan air ketuban,” the doctor replied calmly. “Ah doktor, saya takut… Saya tak diberitahu pun pasal ni,” I said, my nervousness peaking. “Jangan risau. Awak takkan rasa sakit pun. Hanya air panas akan keluar. Okey? Boleh kita proceed?” she asked gently. I just nodded. After the procedure, the nurse asked me to sit in a wheelchair. She pushed me back to my bed so I could collect my belongings. I said bye-bye to the friends I had made in the ward. The nurse told me to eat something before going in—I managed a small piece of bread. Around 7.30 a.m.,...

  07.06.2025 – 37 weeks 1 day pregnant Almost every day, nurses will wake all the moms at 5.30am to check dilation. They’ll put a wire on the tummy to monitor baby’s heartbeat and ask us to move our feet left and right if baby is still sleeping. Mine? Still 3cm today. No change. Haih... I asked Guna to visit me in the evening because afternoon visiting time is too short. He said he wanted to bring Amma, but I said no. I didn’t want her climbing up and down stairs—our house is on the 4th floor. So only Guna came. And another person who visited was Yati—my dearest friend and mentor throughout my pregnancy journey. I’m forever grateful for her. It’s not easy to get a friend like that. Love you, Ti. ❤️ 08.06.2025 – 37 weeks 2 days pregnant This morning, the nurse called me to the check-up room again. Still 3cm. Huhuhu… While waiting, a kakak next to me started chatting. It was her fifth delivery! She told me: “Adik, akak ni anak kelima tau. Semua normal delivery. Petuanya minum air kel...

  06.02.2025 (6.00 AM ) 36 weeks, 7 days pregnant As usual, after cooking breakfast and lunch for us, I went to the washroom to get ready for school. I still remember what I cooked that day—keerai curry, sambal tofu, and appalam—because it was Tuesday. When I entered the washroom, I noticed a blood spot on my pants. I immediately went to the bedroom, woke Guna, and told him, “I spotted.” He looked confused. “Let’s go to HSA. It’s time to deliver the baby,” I said. He replied, “No lah, got 3 more weeks!” I said, “Nooo, Dr. Ivin already informed us that the baby has taken position. She’ll come out anytime now!” We rushed to HSA and arrived at 7:15 AM. After a quick check, the doctor informed us that I was already 3 cm dilated. They asked me to change into a hospital sarung, and Guna went to the registration counter. The nurse gave me a bed. Even though both of us are government servants, I didn’t get a Kelas A ward since HSA was under construction. They placed me in a 7-bedded room. ...